It was only three months ago that I wrote, after the latest long unintended hiatus in a string of long unintended hiatuses (hiati?), about my issues with writing, with the actual act of doing it—and you can look in the archives of this blog to see how few and far between the posts were after that. And so now I’m pushing myself to keep going with this NaBloPoMo thing (after flaking on the NaNoWriMo thing). And instead of, you know, trying to do some writing in the middle of the day when Emi’s napping and I’m not totally fried, I keep waiting till my eyes hurt with tiredness and all I want to do for the last hour or so before going to bed is watch mindless television. Resulting in, of course, rambling gunk like yesterday’s post about dogs. Ramble, ramble, ramble. Bleh.
But I need to keep trying, to keep going, even though in the back of my mind is the taunting reminder of all the other times I tried to do the “get into the daily habit of” routine, only to fall precipitously off the wagon into nonproductivity, again and again and again. I have to remind myself of the whole “perfect is the enemy of good/good enough/done” maxim when that little perfectionist self-editor’s voice is always whispering that if I can’t do it perfectly then I shouldn’t do it at all, let alone put it out there for anyone else to read, if they should accidentally stumble upon it and be bored enough.
Tonight, an old friend linked on Facebook to the event page for my Rad Dad reading in LA this Saturday and told her friends to go see me. This old friend had been a newspaper editor who had liked a high school senior’s entry into her paper’s short story contest enough to offer him a freelance gig as a columnist musing on his generation. She saw something that led her to publish him on multiple occasions, giving him some of his first bylines not meant solely for the eyes of his peers. That meant a lot to him, back then. And tonight, that she remembers that, still, and still sees something there, in that kid, twenty years later, means a lot to me.
And so, I keep rambling on.